i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
