why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
