I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
