I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
