I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
