We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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