shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
