He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
