I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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