He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I died a long time ago.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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