your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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