Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
where are my eyebrows?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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