I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
