it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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