i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
