yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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