dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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