omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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