I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
