i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
