im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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