it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
