Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
