So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
