I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
