Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
