he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
