OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
