is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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