i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
