Its about making memories worth repressing
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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