You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
