I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
