She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
