I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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