This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
