i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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