If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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