My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
