I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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