i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
