He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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