My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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