Do vagina's smell?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
