OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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