Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
