handjob tips. give me some.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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