my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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