WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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