btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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