You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
