i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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