I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
