the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize